


we always hurt the ones we love

by Teeelsie



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 02:46:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4418129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teeelsie/pseuds/Teeelsie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Response to this prompt on the kink meme:</p><p>Every now and then Sherlock asks John to be completely in charge and dominating during sex. It's not a regular occurrence, but sometimes Sherlock just wants to be taken hard and fast, have his hair pulled, his wrists pinned down as John fucks him into the mattress.    John is very gentle and affectionate afterwards.</p><p> </p><p>"He hates this, really.  But John’ll do anything for the man and Sherlock knows it.  It’s John’s Achilles’ heel and he hates that Sherlock is well aware of how to exploit it.  He asks and wheedles and begs until John gives in, but John hates it, so he closes his eyes and tries to pretend that he’s not pounding into Sherlock like a battering ram."</p>
            </blockquote>





	we always hurt the ones we love

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom is my first love, and though I've posted in another fandom, this is the first time I’ve had the courage to post something here. I'm nervous as hell, so your kindness is appreciated.

 

 

He hates this, really. But John’ll do anything for the man and Sherlock knows it. It’s John’s Achilles’ heel and he hates that Sherlock is well aware of how to exploit it. He asks and wheedles and begs until John gives in, but John hates it, so he closes his eyes and tries to pretend that he’s not pounding into Sherlock like a battering ram.

 

At first, in the beginning, Sherlock tried to agitate John, make him angry enough to throw him down and fuck him til he bled. But John couldn’t be had that way; he would _never_ hurt Sherlock because he was angry. Never… but John apparently _can_ be had with a simple polite request, and it makes him sick.

 

“Please, John. Sometimes I just need it this way,” Sherlock beseeched once he realized John wouldn’t fuck him into the mattress in anger.

 

“For God’s sake, Sherlock… _why?_ ”

 

“I don’t know. Sometimes it’s… it’s the only way…” but Sherlock couldn’t do any better than that; he's never been good at articulating his _feelings_.  

 

“Please…” Sherlock asked again – sincere - the plea audible to John’s ear, making him uncomfortable.

 

“Christ,” John muttered as he rubbed his eyes with the forefinger and thumb of his left hand.

 

“John?” Sherlock asked quietly… hopeful… honing in on the chink in John’s armor. “I really do _need_ it, John.”

 

“Yeah, alright… alright,” John sighed in resignation.

 

That first time was the most difficult (of course, but it hasn't really gotten any easier).  John pistoned hard into Sherlock from behind – but still held himself back while his partner begged for it faster, harder… _harder, John!_

 

John had stopped in the middle, certain he must be doing irreparable damage, but Sherlock had twisted his head and barked at him. “What are you _doing?_ Don’t _stop!!_ ” bellowing with frustration and impatience. John reluctantly started up again, slowly at first, until Sherlock made his displeasure known by growling and pushing back quickly and hard ( _so hard_ ) against John with every thrust.  It made John a little bit sick that he himself had come at all, much less as quickly as he had. He knew it was just a physical response to the increased friction of the blazing pace, but still, it made his stomach clench and bile rise up in his throat.

 

He so deeply regrets ever giving in in the first place, because now Sherlock knows he can get this from John – that John is capable of this kind of brutality.  But Sherlock is never more relaxed and at peace than he is after he comes when John batters violently into him, so John says yes - he _always_ says yes - because he will do anything for this amazing creature who, inexplicably, wants John as much as John wants him.

 

So John pounds into Sherlock again, and tries to disengage his conscience from the task at hand.  

 

Sherlock is lying flat on his stomach, arms curved just above his head, wrists overlapping.  John’s right hand is gripping them in place and together, pressing down hard because John is holding himself up with this point of contact (Sherlock will have bruises on his wrists tomorrow). His left hand mercilessly grasps Sherlock’s hair and yanks his head back so John can smash their mouths together and bite at Sherlock’s lips and tongue – the harder the better, apparently – drawing blood. He doesn’t want the iron tang in his mouth – hates it - but he knows it’s what Sherlock wants, so John slices his teeth into the smooth surface on the inside of Sherlock’s lip.

 

It never takes long for Sherlock to come this way - thank God - and soon he jerks his head away (nearly leaving his lip and a fistful of his hair behind) and pushes his face into his pillow, yelling through his orgasm as his body convulses and shudders beneath John. (John doesn’t come while doing this anymore because he wears a cock ring now to prevent that - it's a small relief not to receive sexual gratification from brutalizing the man he loves.) As soon as Sherlock stills, John gently eases his rock-hard cock out of Sherlock’s abused hole and rolls off onto his back, eyes squeezed shut tight, panting hard, blindly releasing the toggle on the ring so he can rid himself of the erection that he doesn’t want.

 

After a few minutes, Sherlock comes back to himself and shifts onto his side, reaching for John’s flagging cock and grasping it roughly before John bats his hand away. Instead, John pushes himself up and rolls Sherlock over onto his back. He stares into his partner’s mercurial eyes for a moment, and Sherlock doesn’t move - just stares back – immediately understanding John’s need for stillness. John blinks away the tiny bit of moisture in his eyes and then dips his head and lightly, gently, captures Sherlock’s mouth with his own.

 

For the next several minutes, he kisses Sherlock, their tongues sliding slippery against one another, sweet and intimate. Sherlock follows John’s lead, gives him what he knows John needs now, and kisses, kisses, kisses John, soft and gentle, infinitely different from his own vicious cravings.

 

Eventually John grows hard against Sherlock's thigh, and again, his partner reaches. This time John doesn't stop him, and Sherlock slowly brings him off with the slightly rough glide of his fist while their tongues never stop sliding, twining, suckling.

 

John’s body goes rigid for a second and then his hips thrust up, and as his cock pulses wet into Sherlock’s fist, he pulls his mouth away and gasps into Sherlock’s neck. Sherlock’s right hand keeps stroking John lightly while his left hand moves on John’s back, fingertips skittering lightly up and down John’s spine. John sinks into the warm touch and almost laughs at the irony that _he_ is the one in need of aftercare after he fucks Sherlock in a way that, as a doctor, John would consider is bordering on abuse.

 

“I love you,” Sherlock whispers against his hair. “Thank you…” he adds a second later, and kisses John on the side of his head.

 

John just nods minutely against his partner’s neck and silently hopes that it will be a long time before he is asked to do this again, but knowing it will be much too soon, regardless.

 

A moment later, “I’m sorry…” Sherlock starts, his voice shaky with emotion, because he knows what it takes out of John to do this for him (to him).

 

“Don’t,” John says firmly, shaking his head. “Just… don’t.” Because he loves Sherlock and it doesn’t really make it any easier to hear Sherlock apologize for asking for something he so obviously needs – no matter what it does to John in the asking.  "It's okay," he soothes.  "I love you, you can ask.  It's okay..."

 

He can do this for Sherlock because he loves him. He can do it because he knows that the next time they come together in this bed, it will be different: loving; tender; mutual. And the next time and the next time – for a long time. Until the day comes, in a few weeks or months, when Sherlock says, “Please, John,” again, and John steels himself and answers, “Yeah, okay.”

 

Because John knows that he’ll follow the man to the ends of the earth, and keep doing whatever Sherlock asks, whenever he asks it; John's love is his Achilles heel, and Sherlock knows it.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I always love to hear your thoughts - and thanks for reading!


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